When I first started practicing Vipassana meditation I never imagined I would find myself 5 years later, spending 30 days in a Buddhist monastery in Lumbini, the birth place of the Buddha, in Nepal, observing complete silence, not eating after 12 noon and practicing intensive meditation from 4AM to 9PM. It was not an easy experience, facing me with such harsh and simple conditions, but nevertheless, it turned out to be one of the most deep and profound experiences I have had since I set foot on this wonderful path.
Lumbini is one of the 4 most important places to the Buddhists and is filled with temples and monasteries from all Buddhists countries in Asia. The monastery was beautiful, full of blossoming gardens, lotus ponds, vegetable gardens & banana trees (from which we ate every day), lots of colorful birds & butterflies and four cats. The place is run by a team of tireless Burmese volunteers nuns and a few Nepali locals who took care of us faithfully and cooked some delicious meals, catering to the variety people from different nationalities who were practicing with us (lots of seaweed and shitake mushrooms for the Japanese and Koreans, yum!). The people who come to retreat in Panditarama are an interesting mix: Burmese, Korean and Taiwanese monks and nuns along with people who came from the US, Germany and other European countries who left their jobs and lives in the west for periods of up to 6 months, to take up a life of intensive meditation practice.
The teachings were led by a German monk named Vivekananda (bliss caused by seclusion of the mind, in Sanskrit) who was trained and ordained in Burma 20+ years ago and teaches the vipassana meditation known as the Mahasi Saydaw tradition, one of the many branches of Theravada Buddhism in Burma. The practice is very logical and almost scientific: It entails applying full attention of the mind on one point, in this case it's the breath noted by the rise and fall of the abdomen, for lengthening periods of time. in this time, the mind gradually becomes calm and clear, but above all focused and sharp. It becomes very sensitive to very subtle movement taking place in the body. It is then used like a microscope to penetrate other physical sensations in the body. Choosing any physical object in the body, like pain, and looking into it deeply, with the bare attention which has been developed, it is able to penetrate into its true nature. It is no longer just pain, as perceived earlier by the coarse, untamed mind, but just as a flux of constantly moving pulses and vibrations arising and passing away. By applying this on different physical and mental objects for a long period of time, one is able to gain insight into 3 main characteristics of human existence. One, is the fact that everything in the universe is constantly changing, always in motion, phenomena arising and passing away. It is true regarding everything in nature, including our own bodies, mind and even consciousness itself. Second, and deriving from the first, is that none of these phenomena which are in constant flux has any self, or inherit identity. Even ourselves, which we perceive as fixed and continuous personalities in the way in we usually function in the world, are merely sequences of matter and mind, energetic reactions constantly arising and passing away. This looks sustained and real our everyday minds, but when one practices meditation for a long enough, he begins to see the reality behind the mind-body phenomena. It's like taking a drop of water and placing it under a microscope. Under the the lens we don't see water as we know it, we see movement of tiny particles in constant reaction to one another. This is what we are made of as well as is everything else in the natural world. The third one is that our whole human predicament, the reason for suffering in the world and for our own unsatisfactoriness in different situations in our lives is all caused by our ignorance in seeing this true nature. We cling onto our perception of reality and expect it to act according to our expectations. Understanding the first two, it is easier to comprehend how silly it is to expect a reality which is in constant change and flux to suit the wills and needs of a mind which is derived in itself out of a false sense of self, and in its essence is made up of exactly the same stuff, particles as the reality from which it is in demand of. So ultimately, there is absolutely no separation between me and the world around me. I cannot manipulate reality to serve my egotistical needs because I am reality, reality is me. So who is serving who? This false notion causes us to divide, conceptualize, and judge everything that happens to us as good or bad, pleasant or unpleasant, trying to prolong the good, indulge in it and stop the bad, creating stress and addictions which are unnecessary once we understand the true and objective nature of things. This has tremendous implications to the way we live, from the micro cosmos of our own bodies' health and well being, to relationships, family dynamics, societies, nations and humanity as a whole. It is a true healing of the human mind.
So the practice here is of letting go of this clinging on to reality and tapping into this natural flow of events, only to learn that we are part of it, and can flow in it with great ease and comfort. This is something which can be studied endlessly by intellectualizing and philosophising about it, but this practice is all about actually experiencing it, first hand without analyzing and filtering reality through our conditioned minds, smart as we may be. Just having the bare senses in touch with what is happening, without creating a story around it and associating it with with my sense if self. The more I practice, the insight into this reality becomes deeper. Being cut off all sensual distractions for 30 days, allowed me to open up to the subtle and fine reality of my body, mind and how it reacts to the world around me. It was a lot like going back to being a baby and experiencing sight, sounds and smells as they are, as if I'm experiencing them for the first time. It's not just a mere sitting in bliss and cutting myself from the world to perceive calm and peace. It's true, calm and tranquility of the mind are part of the fruits of the practice; Deep, one pointedness of the mind can bring tremendous amounts of relaxation and peace to the body and mind. This is why meditation is prescribed to many people suffering from stress disorders and stress related illnesses. It does require a still and calm mind & body to look deeply into oneself and gain insight. But the thrills of meditation are also just momentary events, arising and passing away in and out of the stream of consciousness just like everything else in the world.
When it comes down to it, I'm practicing in this method in order to apply these insights into my life. Seeing these realities and other aspects in a direct and experiential manner, changes the links made in the brain which are have been enforced by my habitual behavior on a daily basis. Once these links, or behavioral patterns are seen as they are, and not as a fixed psychological reality, then something changes, lets go and behaviour patterns start to change accordingly. Things which used to upset me or make me nervous or agitated no longer do. Relationships change, the ability to function under pressure and more. Reactivity to exterior events changes and it becomes easier to see through the true intentions of people and other influencing powers like the media and governments, pick up on the "game" they are playing with my mind and and decide for myself, according to my own personal experience, what matters and what doesn't; What is conducive to living a happy, wholesome and well-balanced life and what is not. It's a process, a life long one which has many turns and surprises, but it keeps unfolding itself in a fascinating way as life goes on and insight deepens. It's no fixed doctrine to believe in, no system of rules or ideology. It is merely pausing our high-speed lives for a moment to sit still and look at what is happening in a pure, clean and objective way.
Being on retreat for a month was not at all easy. All the needs and comforts I'm used to and the speed and absent mindedness I was used to in everyday life (even while travelling) caused agitation and restlessness at start when I bring it down to slower pace and try to be mindful in every action I do. Making note of the physical sensations while walking, eating, going to the toilet in every minute of my waking hours. It was hard especially coming from a long 10 hour bus ride from India, followed by a border crossing where I had to bribe a clerk, getting cheated by a drunk money exchanger at the border and spending the night in a crappy hotel which was located right near a bus station where large groups of noisy Indians were getting on bus continuously from 3AM on. The next day there was a demonstration by the Maoist rebels in Nepal and the roads were blocked by burning tires. We had to take a cycle rickshaw with all our baggage to Lumbini in the blazing sun with a drunk driver. After these experiences we reached the monastery, tired, hungry and extremely agitated, only to find everyone there immersed in deep silence and mindfulness, walking at snail pace, mirroring to us exactly how agitated we really were.
The form and style of retreat was also something I wasn't very used to and tended to be very rigid, monastic and lacking the heart and sensitivity I believe has a crucial part of meditation practice. It was deep and straight forward and I was able to go deeper than i have ever gone before, but at the same time made me truly appreciate the way Vipassana is practiced in most places in the west, and the Israeli teachers specifically, with their warm, heart filled and embracing approach to the delicate matters of life which this practice touches upon.
We are now in Kathmandu, the bustling high pace capital of Nepal. Our senses are all open and sensitive and so are out hearts. We are trying to take it easy for the next few days. There is a new wind blowing in the air and a light and magical feeling of travelling these fascinating parts of the world and seeing life in its intensity, hardships along with its beauty and joy and the ongoing quest of mankind to simply be happy.
Thank you for being in my heart during this precious time of self exploration.
Happy Hanukkah to most of you, Merry Christmas to part of you and a happy new 2008 to everyone.
Peace & love,
Daniel
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