This was a year of chemotherapy, a lot of it. It was a year of deep and meaningful experiences such as having close friends around me at a time of need when it was difficult for me to function physically, feeling the true meaning of community and friendship. It was a time of gradually feeling better in the physical body and gaining more and more strength and confidence to be active and alive in the world, and allow people to enjoy the fruits of what I've been going through these past 3 years. Going deep into my emotional realms and releasing patterns that have been holding me back my whole life. Learning what deep love is, and shattering heartbreak. All of this with the constant uncertainty of cancer threatening to show it's head again and break the gentle equilibrium in the little life I have created for myself.
Little did I know (or do I know now) the magnitude of the life lessons this illness has in store for me. If up until now I was shown by God that it is ok to ask for help and get support from close friends and family, now i'm being taken a level higher - learning to ask for help in the larger sense of the word, including everyone I know and the whole world.
After a brief period of supposed remission, where my CT scans were relatively well behaved, the cancerous tumors in my lungs are flaring up again. I can feel it in my breath a little, but not to the extent of last November. This was a clear signal - chemotherapy is not working anymore, the cells are smart now, they've evolved. What to do? For the past 3 years I always knew there is much more I could be doing to heal this cancer than what I've been doing up until now. I've been implementing everything I know and have researched in the world of nutrition, yoga, meditation practices, herbal medicine, supplements, homeopathy, Chinese medicine, body psychotherapy, energy healing, psychedelics, prayer, positive thinking etc. But anyone who looks deeper into the cancer research that is being conducted today outside of the conventional medical system can see clearly that there are several more aggressive methods out there today that can maybe do a little more than the preventative measures of traditional medicine and a balanced lifestyle, probably as much as chemotherapy and without the nasty side effects.
Now that my health situation is compromised again, I have no choice but to go for the big guns of alternative medicine, and not keep hoping that Miso soup, Wheatgrass juice and daily Asana practice are going to cure me (though I will never stop doing them). After searching and talking to many people I've decided to begin Intravenous Vitamin C treatment, a process where very high doses of Vitamin C are injected into the blood system creating Hydrogen Peroxide in the blood and destroying cancerous cells. Another one is Ozone therapy, a process where a small amount of blood is taken out of the body, charged with Ozone which floods the cells with oxygen, and then put back in the body. The logic behind both these treatments is that as normal cells are aerobic and need oxygen to survive, cancerous cells are anaerobic and die in a heavily oxygenated environment. To these I add an updated arsenal of herbs and supplements that are known to fight cancer and boost the immune system. Since the medical system doesn't acknowledge the benefit of these treatments (which have been proven scientifically in many studies over the past decades), the treatment has to be done privately and at very high cost. (For you Americans out there - Israel has social medicine, so we're used to getting almost all of our medical treatments for free).
So it was clear to me what I had to do. The only way I was going to have enough money to possibly save my life, is to ask for it. Setting aside all my fear of putting myself in the center and being needy, fear of people's reactions etc., I posted a request on the internet to everyone I know, not only the circles of friends who know my story, but absolutely everyone, no limits. I need this help now, and there's no reason to put limits on where it's going to come from. I had a thrust of energy moving me forward to do this as though a strong survival instinct was kicking in. That's exactly what it was. I want to live, and that will is strong enough to break patterns, overcome fears and become open and exposed to the world.
The reaction was unbelievable. Within 48 hours there was enough money to undergo a few months of treatment, and the support keeps flowing. The more support I'm getting the more secure I feel that I have the ability and freedom to explore the use of various types of cancer therapies which can work together in my healing process, and not fear their enormous costs, believing that cancer can be healed and it doesn't have to happen with chemo and radiation alone, which evidently have their limitations.
I feel the world is healing me. People from every corner of the globe, people whom I grew up with and haven't seen me in over 15 years, All of my extended family, people from different stages of my life: High school, military, travels around the world, my amazing family of friends in the Agama community and here in Jerusalem of course and many people who don't even know me (!) all came together to help me. I feel a network of love is sustaining me right now and i'm receiving a huge cosmic hug from humanity. I feel safe in the world. I feel secure knowing that i'm loved and that people are there for each other in real times of need. The power of love should not be underestimated, it is far more powerful than the forces of hate, deception and separation that characterize a lot of what is going on the world today. This love and care of a global community that I am experiencing first hand right now is what our lives are founded on and is the basis of our human existence. Without a deep notion that we are part of the whole, part of nature and humanity, our minds tend to be fragmented, judgmental and fearful. Fear of the other is against our nature, we are a social creature and need contact in order to survive. This is why we created the internet. It is the current epitome of our social and communicative skills (with its limitations of course). And when I witness how the power of the internet can be utilized in such a way that we can save lives, I come to realize what amazing potential we have as human beings in creating a better world.
I am grateful, full of joy and hope, and thankful to be part of such an amazing global community of friends. My faith in man (and woman) kind has become strongly rooted in my heart. People are GOOD! It's our nature to be good, to love and to care for each other! People make the impossible possible with the power of faith and love!
I love you all.
If you are inclined to help me on this road to health, you can do it here:
http://www.youcaring.com/fundraiser_details?fundraiser_id=9842&url=helpdanielhealcancer
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